In need of constructive criticism!!

[SoulEaterQUEEN]

I was wondering if anyone would be interested in reading my papers/assignments that I have to write for my Biology class. My teacher complains about my level of English (not being very good) and I am quite determined to improve my skills. Also Science is my thing and I want to major in it for next year

I am not too sure if this is suitable enough to be under this forum section. If you are into the whole criticism/editing & revising/proof reading thing - please let me know and I will post it up here

[Tharrick Lawson]

Hi there. I'm a graduated biologist working in a lab for a major healthcare company. If you need a hand with proof-reading your assignments, I'm happy to help

[SoulEaterQUEEN]

Tharrick,

Thank-you!! I really appreciate this BIG time
I am also writing my first formal lab soon, any tips?
I will let you know when I need my papers to be checked out.

[Tharrick Lawson]

Tips: Be concise, but not too concise. Get as much info as you can on the subject across, but don't let that swamp your own results. Use journals - reference them properly, so you don't get accused of plagiarism

[SoulEaterQUEEN]

II have a lot of trouble with the conclusion! How should I approach it? Apparently I am suppose to be brief and I know I have to state if my hypothesis was correct or not but I don't really know what else is included.

What type of referencing do I use, MLA?

Thanks again

[Tharrick Lawson]

There's a few different referencing styles, the one you use is determined by the preference of your college/university/whoever - ask your teacher/lecturer which they prefer.

As for the conclusion - you should have already had a discussion section where you talk about your findings in detail, so the conclusion is quite literally a 'this is what I now know' section.
Here's an example from one of my old pieces of work. This is from 2 years back, taken from a report from my molecular microbiology module - total report length was 2100 words covering 6 pages, so you have an idea of scale:

As previously mentioned, the HPI contributes to BT1B virulence, as well as Y. pseudotuberculosis and Y. pestis virulence, by allowing more efficient iron uptake post-invasion. Thus, the HPI could be said to be of critical importance to the organism, if not to clinical disease as a whole, due to low incidence – while a BT1B infection can be fatal, it is also rare. However, the HPI has also been detected in many other Enterobacteriaceae, found to be present in 72% of tested Escherichia coli strains, 58% of Klebsiella oxytoca and 18% of K. pneumoniae strains (Schubert et al., 2000), suggesting significant importance in enteric infections as a whole. Of particular interest is E. coli, in which strains possessing the HPI demonstrate a higher ability to cause extraintestinal infections – it has been suggested that this may be due to positive Ybt/YbtA-complex regulation of non-HPI genes encoding other virulence factors (Schubert et al., 2002).

This report netted me 71%, so it's a reasonable-scoring piece of work